Sometimes you may prefer to send your condolences along with a traditional gift, such as flowers, food or a beautifully designed card. It's not always easy comforting someone whose friend or family died, but it is important to acknowledge the loss as soon as possible.
If you aren't able to send a sympathy card, a quick phone call is acceptable, as well as an email. Do not send a text message. Remember, any form of condolence will mean the world to the grieving individual. The Right Words of Comfort for Someone Grieving With a little thought, you can find comforting phrases that express exactly what you want to say to comfort a grieving friend or family member.
Keep the following list of bereavement messages on file in case you are hard-pressed to find something to say to someone who lost a loved one: I'm sorry. I care about you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
You are important to me. My condolences. I hope you find some peace today. Be kind to yourself. Do you want to tell me about the deceased's name? I'm here for you. I wish I could take your pain away. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you. I am saddened to hear about deceased's name passing. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can't imagine what you're feeling, but I am totally here for you.
Know that I will be here to support you through all of this. Nothing I say can change what happened, but I am here for you and your family during this time. My heart hurts knowing that deceased's name has passed away. I've lost a loved one before and can understand what you may be feeling.
Know that it's okay to feel however you want to feel during this time and I will be here for you. May the memories of deceased's name bring you peace. These are known as end-of-life hallucinations. Even if they are unable to convey their thoughts to you, you can still tell them how much they mean to you and offer comfort to them by saying:. If an acquaintance tells you that they are in the process of dying, or you hear about it from someone else, keep in mind that it's okay to not know what to do or say.
Saying something simple or reaching out with a gesture can look like:. It is absolutely okay to cry regardless of how far along your loved one is in the dying process. Crying expresses to them how much they mean to you and how you genuinely feel. Pretending that everything is okay for the sake of your friend may come across as disingenuous, when in reality, the best thing to do is to be in the moment with them.
Be sure that if you do end up crying that the focus shifts back to your friend's feelings so you can continue to show them that you are there to support them as they go through this.
Aside from speaking with your loved one, simply showing up and being there for them can provide comfort and support. Keep in mind, depending on what stage they are in the dying process, they may be experiencing feelings of denial, anger, sadness, confusion, fear, and disorientation. Death and dying can bring up a lot of anxiety within yourself, so try to just be there with them in the moment and validate their thoughts and emotions, even if your opinions or thoughts are different.
Slow down and really listen to what your friend or family member has to say. Some people want to share important memories at the end of their lives and may feel comforted when someone stops to listen to a favorite story from their childhood. Others may have worries and fears they want to share. Listen without passing judgment and offer support and validation.
Sometimes a person in the process of dying will want to discuss what it has been like for them to go through this. Then, you can adjust the tone of your letter to match. Try to think about how they impacted your life for the better. Then, write a sincere thank-you to your recipient for making your life a better one. They would most likely love to reminisce on a joke, meaningful event, or anecdote that you remember fondly. But writing a letter to someone with terminal cancer is almost always worth the work.
In most cases, a person with terminal cancer will understand your difficulty in expressing your condolences. If you're looking for more ways to comfort a loved one, read our picks for gifts for terminal cancer patients , children's books that talk about cancer and books on grief. Icons sourced from FlatIcon. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. How do we deal with this? How do you get past the vision of seeing your parent die?
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